my nose and other portals

  and i was biking up one of the little hills they have in mount albert and it was kind of tough going because of how cold it was and how that had made my joints age a bit. but it was nice.

  and then all of a sudden, the whole world reeked of steak and kidney, which made my tongue and my tummy more alert. it was strong and it was definitely everywhere and i had these two feelings gushing around. one was all about my mother and how she used to make steak and kidney and how it was always the brownest food she'd make and i imagined her wearing a couple of oven mits and maybe touching my face while they were warm and my brother having short hair and fat little cheeks. the other was how much i hated steak and kidney and how i can still feel the way that chalky offal would decay in my mouth in chubby slices.

  so i was biking and was wedged between these two conflicting but equally mawkish feelings. caught in this sensory dissonance and held up and floating above the world in mount albert in auckland, where i was jostled about and cuddled by the air and didn't know how i felt about that immediate state of things.